cancer is EVERYWHERE

April 23, 2008

I went to my school health center to get some information on self-breast exams and breast cancer today, upon asking the receptionist for any pamphlets or posters she inquired as to why I wanted this information. At first this bothered me, who the hell cares why I needed the information? I responded by telling her about my Mom, and how I am doing a project on breast cancer. She continued on by telling me how her Mom was diagnosed with cancer nine years ago. Unfortunately her Mom’s cancer had spread to her lymph nodes, and she is currently in remission and doing chemo.

It is absolutely crazy to me how many people have cancer, or know someone close to them with cancer. It feels like cancer is EVERYWHERE. We talked for a little while in a very casual manner discussing our moms’ cancer like we were talking about directions to the grocery store. It’s funny how cancer can be so emotional, yet so matter of fact. My dad died of cancer, my mom survived breast cancer, it is what is. We conversed in our “cancer world” vocabulary: “has it metastasized?” “Oh no, it’s spread to her lymph nodes, I’m so sorry to hear that.” Once you’ve been there you know, and with so many people experiencing it, it is impossible not to talk about it….everywhere. I mean within a five-minute in and out mission to get breast cancer information, I met another daughter who is experiencing cancer with her mom. Life is so weird like that, it is so easy to feel like you are the only one, or your family is the only cursed family, when in fact almost everyone I know is linked to a cancer experience in one way or another.

One of my family’s closest friends had cancer in her wrist, and after being in remission for four years it spread to her bone, and about a month ago she had to have her arm removed. She is currently going through chemotherapy, and has lost all of her hair. Hopefully I will be meeting with her this weekend. It actually makes me a little nervous, I haven’t seen or talked with a chemotherapy patient since my Dad, and I don’t want to get emotional, even though I know she would be fine with it. It just feels so exhausting sometimes, I mean come on….why, what is the point here, you know? I remember my Mom saying that right when she found out about her breast cancer. Sometimes it is so exhausting all we could do was laugh together. My Mom would say, "okay, bring it on cancer." There’s not a damn thing you can do except live with it, keep moving on, and occasionally share your story, support, and try to connect with someone else that is going through it.